snow, still

I'm not sure what is driving me to put this blog back up and make it active. For a few weeks, even a month or more, I shut this blog down and tucked it away in the back of my mind. I suddenly feel the craving for an outlet should I need one. My other blog is for my notes and collection of findings; I want to keep my personal life out of it. My personal journal is sometimes not enough for the false attention the Internet will provide me with its omnipresent audience. The calmness of the snow this morning and my solitude has me yearning for more—to voice myself, to let my thoughts out, to become creative, to find myself.

It's been 19 hours since I touched my bed. I am exhausted but I don't want to let myself rest. I would feel guilty. This isn't the weekend it has been for the last two months and I am on my final stretch with my last exam Monday. The desire to go home overwhelms all my other senses and all I can think about is removing myself from this dreadful place. The snow. It won't stop snowing and all is white as far as my eyes can see out the window. I want to watch it and wait for it to get worse. When it gets so bad that I can't see the wall in front of me then I will sleep. Or maybe my body will just give out. I am tired. But I am excited.

I don't know for what.
Three more days.
There are no surprises.
There are no wishful thinking and hopes.
There will be no surprises.