Today felt like as a good a day as any to write my first entry in this new blog. I don't want to wait anymore.
Lately, all my time has been spent waiting. I've been waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to come to my rescue. Waiting. Just waiting. There is an undescribable difficulty in getting myself to initiate something. My lack of motivation to not only accomplish anything school-related but also to eat, sleep and socialize has turned me into a paranoid, depressed vampire. I'm not sure what the catalyst is, but it continuously strikes me around midnight and causes me sleepless nights in front of my computer. This weekend was an improvement in comparison to the state I was in on Friday.
But the biggest difficulty I face is the reality that I can't seem to fall out of love. I fell in love with someone who felt our relationship would set our priority into chaos. We struggle to stay together and to stay separated. I'm still waiting on the day when we can choose a one-way street with no option of turning back. I hope the decision will be for us to spend our lives together, but I'm out of guesses and assumptions. All I can do is wait.
I'm a third-year undergraduate student at a university where I am only a number. I detest the people with whom I spend nine hours of classes every week and likes this city from which I'm writing only because I don't have to share a room. I have a cold nose and cold feet but a warm heart that is breaking. I'm turning twenty in thirty-four days. This is the story of me, a girl who is lost in her own world and is always in love.
Lately, all my time has been spent waiting. I've been waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to come to my rescue. Waiting. Just waiting. There is an undescribable difficulty in getting myself to initiate something. My lack of motivation to not only accomplish anything school-related but also to eat, sleep and socialize has turned me into a paranoid, depressed vampire. I'm not sure what the catalyst is, but it continuously strikes me around midnight and causes me sleepless nights in front of my computer. This weekend was an improvement in comparison to the state I was in on Friday.
But the biggest difficulty I face is the reality that I can't seem to fall out of love. I fell in love with someone who felt our relationship would set our priority into chaos. We struggle to stay together and to stay separated. I'm still waiting on the day when we can choose a one-way street with no option of turning back. I hope the decision will be for us to spend our lives together, but I'm out of guesses and assumptions. All I can do is wait.
I'm a third-year undergraduate student at a university where I am only a number. I detest the people with whom I spend nine hours of classes every week and likes this city from which I'm writing only because I don't have to share a room. I have a cold nose and cold feet but a warm heart that is breaking. I'm turning twenty in thirty-four days. This is the story of me, a girl who is lost in her own world and is always in love.
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