i am jealousy.

If anyone were to complain to you that they had slept 11 hours for the past week, you'd probably tell them, "Hey, I'm jealous!" or "I wish I got that much sleep!" Truthfully, I would gladly switch place with any one of you who has been lacking sleep lately. I wish for a day where I could get out of bed, get down to work, and look forward to the next time my body hits the mattress. The last thing I want to do right now is sleep again. Yet the only thing I want to do is sleep. This is a reality I can't face and I have no energy to plan out my days anymore.

I haven't been able to do any work lately and have been sleeping before the sun rises and waking up after the sun sets. I am never awake when the sun is up, not that I ever bother to look past my curtains anyway. I continue to eat a meal a day (dinner only) and sits at my desk as though my ass is glued to the seat, getting up only to get food, water, or use the washroom.

Mother just called and made me feel bad about my lack of exercising or mobility. I never leave my room anymore. The rain continues to knock against my window and cold air blows at my arm from nowhere. All I can do is congratulate you on your vigor and apologize for your fortune. The sky is darking than it has been any day of the past week. The red hue is gone and the quad lights are off. I'm going to turn off the lights again and hope that my heartbeat will slow down.