The last day I wrote was the last day I saw him. The day I almost now wish didn't happen. If my feelings towards him lessened and I weren't as attached, I should be feeling better than this. I'm burning out. I'm losing patience. I have no time to myself to rest and I cannot rest my restless head. I'm filled with questions like I was two years ago. Almost two years ago. I don't want to do it again. I'm tired.

I want air.
I want stability.
I want reasons.
I want love.
I want out.

I want him to feel the way I feel about him.
I want him to feel the way I thought he would feel if nothing went wrong on our first few meetings. Nothing went wrong our first meetings. What is wrong? Something's wrong. Something else.

The "situation" is a fib. It's not the only reason-why.

I'm going to shut my eyes and lock my thoughts inside.
I won't be better like this.