admiration

I'm always looking at someone else, wishing that were me. With me, and I'm a perfectionist, nothing's ever good enough. I suppose it's a healthy strive for immaculateness, yet it's disappointing when the goal is always ahead of me and I can't seem to reach it even with both arms stretched out in front of me.

I'm having trouble figuring out what I want. What I can achieve in the immediate future far differs from my expectation for myself. I want to do so much. I want to do too much. Restrictions are not dealt with well. It's a lose-lose situation with that.

I want to turn this blog into something more, and here I am, blogging again as though this is my journal. Blogs are meant for social networking and blogger-reader interaction. I need to fix my ways.

Three hours of sleep and nothing good to eat. This next day will be better, I hope.

I need to make a to-do list, write down great ideas and brainstorm potential theses for my Walt Disney essay. Oh, and remind me to remind myself that I'm only three sleeps away from seeing the boyfriend again. It's not that bad.