101 things in 1001 days: jan 1st 2008 to sep 28th 2010

Through one of my favourite LiveJournal communities, embodiment, I found out about a new LJ community called jan1_2008. A little about the origin of the project:

101 Things in 1001 Days is the brainchild of Michael Green, a blogger and developer from NZ. He created a list of tasks to achieve within a defined period, and the idea quickly spread around the web as a tool for helping people accomplish their goals."

The objective should be quite obvious: to set 101 goals or to do 101 things within 1001 days. This mission begins on the first day of the new year and ends on September 28th, 2010. To bet setting goals 2.75 years from today sounds a little ridiculous and overreaching, but many people have done it and I feel motivated knowing I am not alone.

JANE'S 101 THINGS IN 1001 DAYS
Italics—Ongoing Items
Strikes—Completed Items

JUST FOR ME
001. Write in my journal everyday—with embodiment
002. Take a photography everyday—with project 365—link
003. Take a photograph of myself everyday—with 365 days—link
004. Buy a Pro Flickr Account to support #002 & #003
005. Read 10 new books a year (0/30)—link
006. Read a book in one day—part of #005
007. Watch 100 new movies a year (31/100) (0/100) (0/100)—link
008. Make a list of 100 things that makes me happy—link
009. Make a list of 100 essential things I need in my life—link
010. Fall in love with 50 new bands (3/40)—link
011. Email Dad once a month (2/33)

LEARN TO DO
012. Open myself up to dating opportunities
(Mom says plainly: Get a boyfriend!)
013. Learn to be able to say no
014. Keep appointments & plans & promises
015. Be punctual or early to appointments & meetings
016. Hand in all assignments on time with or without extensions
017. Follow every to-do list made
018. Vacuum & wash Piglet* without complaining thrice a year (0/9)
019. Read the entire instruction manual/user's guide for Piglet

LANGUAGES
020. Take a German course & be capable of everyday conversations
021. Learn to speak Mandarin properly
022. Become fluent in French—with #023

TRAVEL
023. Go to Oberlungwitz again to visit Angela & Achim
024. Visit Dad & relatives in Hong Kong
025. Spend time in Quebec or Paris—with #020
026. Go to Walt Disney World with Julie
027. Go to Mount Tremblant for three days

EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS
028. Get my G driving license in 2008
029. Bring my cumulative average back up to at least 75%
030. Graduate with my BA & Certificate in Writing
031. Take the GMAT & prepare for MBA
032. Learn how to make Flash animations
033. Complete the RCM Gr. 10 Piano Examination
034. Complete the RCM Gr. 4 History Examination
035. Get a position on Power Unit's executive team
036. Renew my First Aid certificate in 2009
037. Apply for at least ten scholarships (0/10)

EXPERIENCES
038. Find five Geocache items (0/5)
039. Try a new recipe a month (0/33)
040. Eat at twenty new restaurants on my own choosing (0/20)
041. Go camping for the first time
042. Make my family a dinner on my own
043. Throw a surprise birthday party no matter big or small
044. Watch a movie at a drive-thru theatre
045. Continue to volunteer at Rogers Cup every summer (0/3)
046. Get my own room in a new loft/apartment/house—with #085
047. Go to/volunteer at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics
048. Apply to intern at a record label
049. Intern at a record label/find a job I would pursue for long-term

ORGANIZATION
050. Clean out my wardrobe & donate clothes
051. Hold a garage sale/sell unnecessary items
052. Re-organize my bookshelf for my books/CDs/DVDs
053. Frame all of my concert setlists (& count how many I have)
054. Find a way to organize & display all my ticket stubs & wristbands
055. Make back-up discs of all digital photographs

CREATIVITY
056. Finish up old scrapbooks
057. Make 50 drawings or sketches (0/50)
058. Mail three secrets to Post Secret (0/3)
059. Sell twenty things on etsy.com (0/20)
060. Finish ten rolls of film on my fisheye (0/10)
061. Finish two two-packs of Polaroids a year (0/6)

HEALTH&WELL-BEING
062. Whiten my teeth
063. Wear my retainer everyday—excluding my birthday
064. Floss & wash everyday
065. Exercise regularly & jog at least once a week
066. Do sit-ups/crunches at least three nights a week
067. Maintain a weight of 120 lb.—possibly 110 lb.
068. No soft drinks on odd months
069. Visit the dentist every June & December (0/6)
070. Get a health exam & my blood tested annually (0/3)
071. Step outdoors at least once every three days
072. Get out of depression & overcome relapses

FINANCES
073. Spend a maximum of $250 on concerts a year
074. Save 60% of summer earnings every year until graduation
075. Donate to a charity every year (0/3)
076. Fix previous budgeting spreadsheets (0/3)
077. Learn to budget myself—how much for what per year
078. Learn what goes in my/how to do my own taxes

LUXURY ITEMS
079. Replace my current phone
080. Get a new phone plan & pay for it myself
081. Buy a new Digital SLR
082. See Jason Mraz in concert—& meet him
083. Get one new piercing a year (0/3)
084. Get a tattoo
085. Get a kitten!—only if #046 succeeds
086. Take photobooth pictures with Julie
087. Take mom & dad on a cruise
088. Get a GPS for Piglet
089. Get a new jump-drive for backups & travel

SHORT-TERM GOALS OF 2008-2010
090. To be filled in April of 2008
091. To be filled in July of 2008
092. To be filled in October of 2008
093. To be filled in January of 2009
094. To be filled in April of 2009
095. To be filled in July of 2009
096. To be filled in October of 2010
097. To be filled in January of 2010
098. To be filled in April of 2010
099. To be filled in July of 2010

100. Donate $3 to a charity for every item unaccomplished

101. Smile every one of these 1001 days

*Piglet is my car—a black 2007 Toyota Yaris Sedan

Some of these are unoriginal, but to create a list of 101 goals for the next two point seven-five years was more difficult than I predicted! Who knows what will happen in the future; my life could change drastically tomorrow as far as I know. So, here's to hoping this list will be well-followed and that at least 95% of these tasks will be completed!

noises and voices

Three-thirty strikes and the peace and silence ends. The cling and clangs and bumps and bangs start and here you are, wide awake. There's no blocking out the sound like you would with the sun, merely shifting an arm in the right direction and intercepting the shine in your eyes or hiding under cover in that cozy bed of yours. Now the water is running and chair's scratch the dining room floor and the piano keys are striken and what should be music turns into noise and the irritation continues. Voices fill your head and you wish you had dreamt them up but they are those of your relatives with whom you wish you didn't share a house.

The walls seem thinner and the door has opened itself and the tick and tock doesn't stop. The abundance of sounds becomes unbearable and you finally get out of bed and lock yourself in the bathroom and splash water on your face hoping to wash away your annoyance. As you open the bathroom door after you've freshened up, you hear the voice you don't recognize, the vocal of a Russian lady wishing somebody Merry Christmas and happy holidays and happy new year and the other generic phrases people use as greetings or goodbyes. Less than ten days away, you recall, that red and green day will dawn upon you and you will be forced to fake a smile, pinch your arm to avoid laughter and say the two words to make S.C. proud.

"What is this word, Bangladesh? Where is that?" Grandpa just asked. How do you explain to him a place you are unfamiliar with in a language he understands only under false pretense?

Today should've been day three of recovery. Now we are behind schedule and the pills will have to continue tomorrow. No one has to know.

the language of a lover

A minute ago, I felt a magical spark in the pit of my stomach. I had just finished my bowl of cereal and milk (Kellogg's Mueslix. The almond and raisin kind, of course.) and was in the middle of drinking my bottle of water. A minute of strayed thoughts and loss of concentration resulted in the unconscious surfing and the arrival of the somewhat-embarassing-to-admit MySpace website on my monitor. As I am absolutely lured in by Jason Mraz's strange twist of words and incredulous wit on his blog, his song Bella Luna comes on my iTunes shuffle. I just turned on my shuffle. Many strange musical coincidences have been experienced lately and I'm beginning to overanalyze and wonder if they are all supposed to mean something.

The amusing event just caused all other songs on my iTunes to be much less appealing and I'm about to turn it off again. This final paper before the exam period begins is causing me more stress than I predicted. It's only about eight pages and based on everything we discussed in lecture. Not too difficult, huh. So I thought. My second counselling appointment (and second one in the week) is in five hours and fifteen minutes. I don't know whether to sleep and risk this paper or write and risk endangering myself and others on the road when I have to pick up the twin at nine p.m. That's a long way away--perhaps I will be able to sneak in a few hours if I finish the paper early. It's due at seven p.m. Deadlines and last-minute lack of plans epitomize my unexciting university life.

My night... or morning just became much more interesting half an hour ago when I decided to venture to my kitchen and see what my roommate is up to. She has been baking for the past three hours. Peanut butter reindeer cookies. They are absolutely adorable and will taste hopefully as great as they smell.

"Cosmic fish they love to kiss. They're giving birth to constellation. No riffs and oh no reservation. If they should fall you get a wish or dedication."

- Jason Mraz, Bella Luna

i am jealousy.

If anyone were to complain to you that they had slept 11 hours for the past week, you'd probably tell them, "Hey, I'm jealous!" or "I wish I got that much sleep!" Truthfully, I would gladly switch place with any one of you who has been lacking sleep lately. I wish for a day where I could get out of bed, get down to work, and look forward to the next time my body hits the mattress. The last thing I want to do right now is sleep again. Yet the only thing I want to do is sleep. This is a reality I can't face and I have no energy to plan out my days anymore.

I haven't been able to do any work lately and have been sleeping before the sun rises and waking up after the sun sets. I am never awake when the sun is up, not that I ever bother to look past my curtains anyway. I continue to eat a meal a day (dinner only) and sits at my desk as though my ass is glued to the seat, getting up only to get food, water, or use the washroom.

Mother just called and made me feel bad about my lack of exercising or mobility. I never leave my room anymore. The rain continues to knock against my window and cold air blows at my arm from nowhere. All I can do is congratulate you on your vigor and apologize for your fortune. The sky is darking than it has been any day of the past week. The red hue is gone and the quad lights are off. I'm going to turn off the lights again and hope that my heartbeat will slow down.

baby steps to improvement

I'm sitting naked in shadows cast by the only light source in my silent bedroom wondering what I should mention of today's new adventure. My hair is still damp from the shower and guitar chords strum lightly in my ears. It's been a long day and I'm not used to the lack of time spent in this chamber.

I was surprised by the concern my former roommate showed as we spent our day together from noon until the snow fell at nine. I held back tears in front of the first counsellor I have ever shared my pain with and wondered what his children's names are. They are beautiful. He had a kind face, a soft voice and eyes that I trust within two minutes of speaking to him.

"Have you been eating too much? Too little?"
"I think about... a meal a day."
"Oh, that's not too much, is it..."

My first appointment is tomorrow morning thanks to a last minute opening. A lady named Chris will see me and determine whether or not I am as big of a cheat as I seem, seeing as how last minute my plea for help is. I hope she won't judge me; she is supposed to be ojective, but who will really know what she will think of me.

I hope I won't cry.

I am afraid of being alone this weekend. Four days of solitude, and I imagine it could be four days of not leaving my room, again.

"If you've already gone, why am i clinging?"

- Damien Rice, Elephant

oh, so let it go...

It's the strangest feeling coming out of the shower. You lose all sense of time; you have no concept of how long you've been been in the shower, what time it is and whether the sun might have sneakingly rose again. You just spent the last however long standing under running water while the rest of the world went about running errands, meeting deadlines, making phone calls, typing their lives away. I have to say, showering is my favourite part of the day. It's when I do my best thinking and when I'm calmest and most reposed.

It is incredible that I am able to spend 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes surrounded by the world's most natural resource. It's truly what we need most and it's all I need after a long day, any day, any time. A long hot shower and the sound of the water hitting the shower floor. Nothing else. Eyes closed. Naked, but warm.

I came out of the shower tonight to hear clanging in the kitchen and my roommate doing dishes; noise that I never want interrupting my day. In the shower though, nothing can interrupt me. And strangely, in the shower, I don't feel alone. I don't feel lonely. I feel alive.

If only my fingers don't turn into prunes so damn quickly.
That's when I know I need to get out.

Today was a strange day of power outage, snow, darkness, and tears. I wrote a letter that I no longer plan to deliver and made a phone call with awkward silences that I don't regret. Listening to Brand New is reminding me of memories from last year that doesn't make me cry. Everything is true in their words and applicable to my life and now I understand the effect relationships have on people. I'm a victim fallen to the result of a broken relationship. It's been seven months, but I am still coping, slowly but surely.

"Every line is about who I don't wanna write about anymore."

- Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't

waiting for my patience to run out

Today felt like as a good a day as any to write my first entry in this new blog. I don't want to wait anymore.

Lately, all my time has been spent waiting. I've been waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to come to my rescue. Waiting. Just waiting. There is an undescribable difficulty in getting myself to initiate something. My lack of motivation to not only accomplish anything school-related but also to eat, sleep and socialize has turned me into a paranoid, depressed vampire. I'm not sure what the catalyst is, but it continuously strikes me around midnight and causes me sleepless nights in front of my computer. This weekend was an improvement in comparison to the state I was in on Friday.

But the biggest difficulty I face is the reality that I can't seem to fall out of love. I fell in love with someone who felt our relationship would set our priority into chaos. We struggle to stay together and to stay separated. I'm still waiting on the day when we can choose a one-way street with no option of turning back. I hope the decision will be for us to spend our lives together, but I'm out of guesses and assumptions. All I can do is wait.

I'm a third-year undergraduate student at a university where I am only a number. I detest the people with whom I spend nine hours of classes every week and likes this city from which I'm writing only because I don't have to share a room. I have a cold nose and cold feet but a warm heart that is breaking. I'm turning twenty in thirty-four days. This is the story of me, a girl who is lost in her own world and is always in love.